Saturday, October 1, 2011

deactivating Facebook profile

I've finally decided to do it. and I've only told one person the real reasoning behind the decision. Yes it is a big distraction, no i don't really find any games useful or fun on it, and I only use it to communicate with friends I don't talk to often because I don't like using phones. But the bottom line is, I couldn't stop checking on her profile to see what she had posted recently, and some of it hurts. I've come to let myself feel like i'm nothing, like nothing I did mattered, like i'm utterly replaceable. I remembered at some point  people saying many times, if something is causing you distress or pain and you can do something about it, then do it. Instead of letting myself become a stalker giving into my jealous tendencies I have to cut myself off completely. So that is what I'm about to do right now. I thank those who follow and or read this. I will most likely use this a lot more often along with twitter, which I see as a more positive outlet for, everything. I just can't stop having feelings for her and it suddenly seems like she just stopped having feelings for me. When part of me knows that isn't entirely true. It doesn't matter right now.

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